It all started when...

In late May of 2007 I found myself in the North, in the town in which I grew up. It was the day before Memorial Day, and my husband and I were surrounded by my siblings and my mother's side of the family. We were in a stuffy funeral home, standing in little groups of two's and three's while my Grandfather laid motionless, but peaceful, in his silver casket. Our grief was overwhelming, yet we were well prepared for his death following the five days he lay unconscious in a hospital bed and receiving twice daily visits from the young pastor from my Grandparents' church.

In addition to our grief, there was anger and hurt amongst a few of us that could only have been brought on by my father. Divorced from my mother for 16 bitter years, he felt he should make an appearance at the viewing, because (as he said) he needed to pay his respects. The details are not needed, but he was angry at me for not supporting him in wanting to go, and in the end he stayed home. Even at age 28 I am still in the middle when it comes to my warring parents. I can't support one without the other getting hurt - but in this case I felt my mother was hurting enough over losing her father.

Thinking my mother needed some cheering up, I took her to a private room away from everyone else. "I think I might be pregnant," I told her. After nearly 5 years of marriage, I think she was starting to wonder if I'd ever give her a grandchild. At this point, I was only a week late, but to me that was practically a confirmation since I was NEVER late. You could set your alarm by my periods (I have no idea WHY you'd want to do that... but you could!) For the rest of the evening the anger was replaced by hope, and the prospect of a new baby was just what we needed to make it through the night.

I was hoping to make it through the following day in much the same way, however, nature had another idea. I woke up the next morning with cramps, and my period made a surprise appearance at my Grandfather's funeral.

Throughout the day I cried buckets of tears. I cried for my Grandfather, and I cried for the baby I hadn't even known I'd wanted.