Upon our arrival at the hospital, we were ushered through the metal detectors and our bags were x-rayed- ok, they weren't but the security on the Mother and Baby floor of the hospital was TIGHT! Once I got checked in, de-robed, and into my gloriously hideous (oxymoron?) hospital gown, I was strapped in for a fetal non-stress test and the nurses tried to get my IV in. Yep, nurseS! I have a really good vein in the crook of my arm, but because this IV would be in for a few days, and I needed the use of my arm, they had to find another place for it. After 2 nurses painfully stabbed me twice in both hands unsuccessfully, they called one of the lab techs up to complete the job. It seriously took the lab tech a minute to put it in my forearm and get the IV going. Aaah. I was also very concerned that they were going to put in my urine catheter before I went to the OR, but the nurse assured me that they wait until the anesthesia kicks in before inserting the catheter. Whew. I was kind of more afraid of that than being cut open!
While waiting for an Operating Room to become available, I filled out forms (Arty was too nervous to write legibly), answered nurses' questions, met with both the nurse anesthetist and the anesthesiologist (who I believe was an octogenarian!) I was glad the nurse anesthetist would be with me the whole time, as she was my age, pregnant herself, and just super sweet. It was during this time that SoBee acquired hiccups in utero, and the NST went nuts for about 15 minutes. It was really cute to hear her hiccups, and it felt like she was giving me a sign that everything would be okay - that she was in there laughing about all the drama she's caused.
After being hooked up to the IV for an hour, I really had to pee, so I called in a nurse to unhook me from the NST, and I wheeled my IV stand as close to the bathroom as I could, but the stand didn't actually reach in there with me. While I was in there with the door open, my mom, step-dad and sister arrived just in time to watch me tinkle. It was a special time for all of us.
Finally, a nurse came in to say we'd be going to the ER in a few minutes, and she handed me a small bottle of antacid and told me I needed to drink the whole thing. I told her I didn't think it was a good idea - that it would make me throw up, especially since I hadn't had anything to eat or drink for 8 hours. She told me I had to drink it, and that it's to help make sure that I don't throw up. I was pretty sure I was going to be right, but I drank it anyway to get on our way to the OR. I got settled into my wheelchair, and was handed my hair cap. Arty was taken to another room to get into his scrubs while I was left sitting in front the doors to the OR. After 5 minutes, the nurse came back and wheeled me in by myself. She explained that only after I got the spinal anesthesia and was hooked up to the blood pressure monitor, etc, that he would be allowed to come in.
I'm told to get up on the table, and sit with my legs dangling over the side. One nurse comes up in front of me and tells me that I am to lean on her while the nurse anesthetist is behind me prepping my back for insertion of the spinal anesthesia. She tells me to relax and that she'll warn me before she inserts the needle into my spine. I'm very nervous at this point, not just because I'm going to have a needle inserted into my spine, but because I'm just so scared for my baby. There is nothing worse than being told that my placenta - something that is supposed to nourish and keep my baby growing and healthy- may actually be killing her. I start shaking from the fear that something will happen to her, and that I won't be able to do anything to help her. When I feel the first tear slide down my cheek, I hear the door to the OR open and the nurse calls out, "Hi Dr. J.!" Relief just washed over me, because I'd subconsciously had the fear that something would happen that Dr. J. couldn't be there on time and one of his partners would end up delivering SoBee. I heard his quiet voice say to the nurse, "I'll take it from here," and he traded places with her and was now the person I was leaning on. He grabbed both of my hands and told me everything was going to be all right, that he wouldn't let anything happen to either me or SoBee. We were in this together. By the time the nurse anesthetist inserted the needle into my spine, I had stopped shaking.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
I thought I had another week!
On February 6th, I found myself in Dr. K's office, assuming the position for yet another ultrasound. Arty and Mom were sitting on stools to the left of me, and the UT was on my right and getting very good pictures of SoBee, and taking tons of measurements. She excuses herself to go discuss everything with Dr. K (who has been watching everything on a screen in his office.) When they returned, I knew something was up. The good news, he told us, is that she doesn't appear to have a common infant with DS condition in which there is a blockage in the intestine. (This condition requires immediate specialist surgery on the baby, so we would have had to change our birthing hospital to a hospital 45 miles away.) So we dodged a bullet there.
However, her estimated weight at 4.4 lbs was still not satisfactory, so he is pretty certain at this stage that the placenta is not doing it's job, and is likely to be killing my baby. He stated that he has already spoken to Dr. J. over the phone, and that they both feel it is best for the baby to deliver TODAY. I, of course, was crying, but not hysterical. I was already extremely nervous about being induced, and going through labor and the birth - and I'd just been told I wouldn't have the extra week I was counting on to be prepared. (Sure, I'd attended the birthing classes, watched the mandatory epidural video and packed my bag, but I needed that extra week to MENTALLY prepare!)
It turned out that I wouldn't have to worry about induction, or labor either. Dr. K. went on to explain that, although SoBee had been head down and in correct birthing position a month ago, she was no longer head down. She was breech. I immediately started cursing that buzzer Dr. J. used to wake her up - I know that's what did it!
I was to go home and rest, and Dr. J. would call me to let me know what time to arrive at the hospital for my urgent Caesarean Section. I was to not eat or drink anything else for the rest of the day. On the way home, Arty and I were in stunned silence. Mom was following us to our house - I think she was too scared to leave me, for fear something would happen to me and/or the baby. Once home, Arty called his mother in England on the home phone. Mom used her cell phone to call my sister, aunts, and grandmother. On my cell phone I called my Dad and Step-Mom, left a message for my best friend, and sent an email to everyone else to let them know what was happening. By the time Dr. J. called, everyone I know knew that I was going to have a baby that day.
At 6:30 p.m., the car was loaded with more things than I would ever need, including my favorite pillow. Mom had gone home to shower and change and was to meet us at the hospital at 7:15. Arty and I stood in SoBee's bedroom, which had been painted a sweet yellow (with love by her Grandmomma, Aunt, and Great Aunt) and looked around at the Winnie the Pooh border and adhesive art. I pictured myself sitting in the rocking chair while our baby breastfed and Daddy looked on in amazement. I had positive thoughts about what was going to take place this evening, but there was something I needed to tell Arty first.
As we held hands in our daughter's bedroom, I said, "No matter what happens to me, I want you to promise me you'll be with SoBee from the moment they take her out of my belly and that you will not leave her until I can be with her. She needs to hear your voice and establish a bond with you." He promised me he would. I finished with "And if something happens where you need to decide which one of us lives and which one of us dies... SoBee lives." As hard as I know it was for him, he promised.
However, her estimated weight at 4.4 lbs was still not satisfactory, so he is pretty certain at this stage that the placenta is not doing it's job, and is likely to be killing my baby. He stated that he has already spoken to Dr. J. over the phone, and that they both feel it is best for the baby to deliver TODAY. I, of course, was crying, but not hysterical. I was already extremely nervous about being induced, and going through labor and the birth - and I'd just been told I wouldn't have the extra week I was counting on to be prepared. (Sure, I'd attended the birthing classes, watched the mandatory epidural video and packed my bag, but I needed that extra week to MENTALLY prepare!)
It turned out that I wouldn't have to worry about induction, or labor either. Dr. K. went on to explain that, although SoBee had been head down and in correct birthing position a month ago, she was no longer head down. She was breech. I immediately started cursing that buzzer Dr. J. used to wake her up - I know that's what did it!
I was to go home and rest, and Dr. J. would call me to let me know what time to arrive at the hospital for my urgent Caesarean Section. I was to not eat or drink anything else for the rest of the day. On the way home, Arty and I were in stunned silence. Mom was following us to our house - I think she was too scared to leave me, for fear something would happen to me and/or the baby. Once home, Arty called his mother in England on the home phone. Mom used her cell phone to call my sister, aunts, and grandmother. On my cell phone I called my Dad and Step-Mom, left a message for my best friend, and sent an email to everyone else to let them know what was happening. By the time Dr. J. called, everyone I know knew that I was going to have a baby that day.
At 6:30 p.m., the car was loaded with more things than I would ever need, including my favorite pillow. Mom had gone home to shower and change and was to meet us at the hospital at 7:15. Arty and I stood in SoBee's bedroom, which had been painted a sweet yellow (with love by her Grandmomma, Aunt, and Great Aunt) and looked around at the Winnie the Pooh border and adhesive art. I pictured myself sitting in the rocking chair while our baby breastfed and Daddy looked on in amazement. I had positive thoughts about what was going to take place this evening, but there was something I needed to tell Arty first.
As we held hands in our daughter's bedroom, I said, "No matter what happens to me, I want you to promise me you'll be with SoBee from the moment they take her out of my belly and that you will not leave her until I can be with her. She needs to hear your voice and establish a bond with you." He promised me he would. I finished with "And if something happens where you need to decide which one of us lives and which one of us dies... SoBee lives." As hard as I know it was for him, he promised.
It's all okay!
With my heart in my throat and feeling like I'm going to faint, I share a very nervous glance with Arty. After 30 more seconds of silence, Dr. J. exhales with relief and said "Ok, there she goes." You see, SoBee has a way of snuggling up to the placenta in a way that hides her heart. When she is sleeping in there, she becomes VERY still and forgets to practice her breathing. So, without any movement, no breathing, and unable to see her heart beating, Dr. Jamison thought the worst had happened.
After our little scare (we were ALL relieved!), Dr. J. gave me instructions to eat every possible sugary thing I could on the drive to my next appointment at the end of the week. In hindsight, I have no idea why I was expecting I could keep such things down. So, when I showed up to the next appointment, I was weak and dizzy from having just regurgitated 2 fun-size snickers, 2 wild cherry capri sun drink pouches, and a banana popsicle. Arty was also feeling dizzy from having just witnessed that happening in the car - into a clear plastic ziplock bag. Luckily, the heaving made the baby very active, so we had no trouble with our next NST.
Our first ultrasound in January was bittersweet. We got to see a lot of pictures of her, and she was pretty active, so we were happy she was cooperating. Also, it looked like the holes in her heart were getting smaller, and no longer seemed to pose the threat of needing immediate heart surgery after birth. However, Dr. K. became concerned with the fact that she was measuring at about 3.8 lbs. (The estimated weight can be off by a pound either way.) He was concerned that the placenta may be aging prematurely, therefore inhibiting her intake of everything she needs to grow.
At this point, I'm just exhausted with the constant worry. It seems that every time we get good news, bad news follows soon after. I never knew it could be so difficult to carry a child, and I felt like I was doing a very poor job of keeping my baby safe and healthy. On days I didn't have any appointments, I would just stay in bed, or on the couch all day long. I felt sort of withdrawn and very anxious when I had to go anywhere alone. Arty was already driving me pretty much anywhere, but if I had to go to the store for anything, I feared something would happen to the baby.
The next several appointments went by without too much excitement. Dr. J. informed me that it was time we scheduled an induction for the month of February, because he wanted to induce labor at 37 weeks. When carrying a child with DS, there is a greater risk of stillbirth the closer you get to 40 weeks. So we set a date - February 14th. It seems I would have a Valentine's Baby. I couldn't think of a better gift of love and devotion.
After our little scare (we were ALL relieved!), Dr. J. gave me instructions to eat every possible sugary thing I could on the drive to my next appointment at the end of the week. In hindsight, I have no idea why I was expecting I could keep such things down. So, when I showed up to the next appointment, I was weak and dizzy from having just regurgitated 2 fun-size snickers, 2 wild cherry capri sun drink pouches, and a banana popsicle. Arty was also feeling dizzy from having just witnessed that happening in the car - into a clear plastic ziplock bag. Luckily, the heaving made the baby very active, so we had no trouble with our next NST.
Our first ultrasound in January was bittersweet. We got to see a lot of pictures of her, and she was pretty active, so we were happy she was cooperating. Also, it looked like the holes in her heart were getting smaller, and no longer seemed to pose the threat of needing immediate heart surgery after birth. However, Dr. K. became concerned with the fact that she was measuring at about 3.8 lbs. (The estimated weight can be off by a pound either way.) He was concerned that the placenta may be aging prematurely, therefore inhibiting her intake of everything she needs to grow.
At this point, I'm just exhausted with the constant worry. It seems that every time we get good news, bad news follows soon after. I never knew it could be so difficult to carry a child, and I felt like I was doing a very poor job of keeping my baby safe and healthy. On days I didn't have any appointments, I would just stay in bed, or on the couch all day long. I felt sort of withdrawn and very anxious when I had to go anywhere alone. Arty was already driving me pretty much anywhere, but if I had to go to the store for anything, I feared something would happen to the baby.
The next several appointments went by without too much excitement. Dr. J. informed me that it was time we scheduled an induction for the month of February, because he wanted to induce labor at 37 weeks. When carrying a child with DS, there is a greater risk of stillbirth the closer you get to 40 weeks. So we set a date - February 14th. It seems I would have a Valentine's Baby. I couldn't think of a better gift of love and devotion.
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