It's all okay!

With my heart in my throat and feeling like I'm going to faint, I share a very nervous glance with Arty. After 30 more seconds of silence, Dr. J. exhales with relief and said "Ok, there she goes." You see, SoBee has a way of snuggling up to the placenta in a way that hides her heart. When she is sleeping in there, she becomes VERY still and forgets to practice her breathing. So, without any movement, no breathing, and unable to see her heart beating, Dr. Jamison thought the worst had happened.

After our little scare (we were ALL relieved!), Dr. J. gave me instructions to eat every possible sugary thing I could on the drive to my next appointment at the end of the week. In hindsight, I have no idea why I was expecting I could keep such things down. So, when I showed up to the next appointment, I was weak and dizzy from having just regurgitated 2 fun-size snickers, 2 wild cherry capri sun drink pouches, and a banana popsicle. Arty was also feeling dizzy from having just witnessed that happening in the car - into a clear plastic ziplock bag. Luckily, the heaving made the baby very active, so we had no trouble with our next NST.

Our first ultrasound in January was bittersweet. We got to see a lot of pictures of her, and she was pretty active, so we were happy she was cooperating. Also, it looked like the holes in her heart were getting smaller, and no longer seemed to pose the threat of needing immediate heart surgery after birth. However, Dr. K. became concerned with the fact that she was measuring at about 3.8 lbs. (The estimated weight can be off by a pound either way.) He was concerned that the placenta may be aging prematurely, therefore inhibiting her intake of everything she needs to grow.

At this point, I'm just exhausted with the constant worry. It seems that every time we get good news, bad news follows soon after. I never knew it could be so difficult to carry a child, and I felt like I was doing a very poor job of keeping my baby safe and healthy. On days I didn't have any appointments, I would just stay in bed, or on the couch all day long. I felt sort of withdrawn and very anxious when I had to go anywhere alone. Arty was already driving me pretty much anywhere, but if I had to go to the store for anything, I feared something would happen to the baby.

The next several appointments went by without too much excitement. Dr. J. informed me that it was time we scheduled an induction for the month of February, because he wanted to induce labor at 37 weeks. When carrying a child with DS, there is a greater risk of stillbirth the closer you get to 40 weeks. So we set a date - February 14th. It seems I would have a Valentine's Baby. I couldn't think of a better gift of love and devotion.