Getting used to what will be..

Somehow I completed the grieving process rather quickly. I went through denial, bargaining, anger and acceptance. I'm sure some people take longer, some shorter, but I came to feel that everything would be okay. So my daughter would have Down Syndrome - she would still be mine and Arty's. What else could I ask for? Plus, seeing her in ultrasound, I fell in love with her. She waved her hand at us, she showed us her foot (which was very much like her dad's). It felt as though she was telling us, "Hey, I'm in here, I'm okay. See you soon!"

I started receiving phone calls from members of our local support group. They were calling to offer any help, information, the chance to get to know their children, and an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on. They dropped off a new parent package, which included a book, a few dvd's, a lot of informational packets and little odds and ends. I started reading the book right away. And not long after that, I stopped reading the book. I read as far as this sentence: "It is normal to wish your child will die." HUH?? I'm fighting for my child's life, not wishing she would die!

Apparently the book was originally written in the 1980's, then "updated" in the early 1990's. I'm not usually one to destroy books, but that was one book I was happy to throw out. There are a lot of things I want to do (if I ever have the time) and writing a new, up to date, SUPPORTIVE book about having a child with DS is at the top of my list.

In November of 2007, Dr. J decided he'd better check and make sure my gall bladder was okay. I was still being very sick everyday, and had lost 30 lbs so far. I went to get an ultrasound of my gall bladder, and Dr. J called me later that day to let me know that I had "numerous gall stones." He was shocked I wasn't having any pain along with the sickness. He recommended I meet with a general surgeon to see if removing my gall bladder during the pregnancy was an option. Unfortunately, Arty and I were flying North the next day to spend Thanksgiving with some of my family. I set up a consultation for 2 days after our return.