Part 6 - Scariest thing to happen to me... so far...

I was a wreck - I couldn't stop the tears, because I just felt it was true. My husband, ever the strong one, held me tight as Dr. K continued his well practiced spiel. He stated that there was no way to be certain just from the ultrasound, and if we wanted confirmation he could perform an amniocentesis. He went on to say that the majority of the time, about 24 out of 25 times, the results come back negative for Down Syndrome. He left us alone for a few minutes, during which time ArtyBee fetched my mom from the waiting room. It was agony to even try to put into words what we'd just heard, but even though my mom was anxious, she was quite confident the baby would be negative for DS. Apparently, my mother's sister was told the exact same thing about her first pregnancy. She was scared sh**less, cried many tears, had the test, worried for a week and it came back negative. When they told her the same thing for her second pregnancy, she didn't even bother to have the tests. Both of my cousins are what you would call "normal".

I didn't feel like I should take the chance of not knowing. Not knowing and worrying for the next 5 months would only make me more sick, and I didn't need that stress on top of everything else. After a very brief discussion between the three of us, we decided to find out more about the amnio. Dr. K returned to the room and ArtyBee asked about the amnio - when could it be performed, what did it entail, and how long before the results would be known?

Dr. K insisted we could do the amnio right now, that the U.T. could clear the schedule for the next hour. He stated that to perform the amniocentesis, my abdomen would be sterilized and the U.T. would perform an ultrasound to find where the fetus was and guide Dr. K to the best place (as far away from the fetus as possible) to remove amniotic fluid. He would then insert a long needle all the way through my abdomen into the amniotic sac, and pull out the plunger to fill the syringe with fluid. He would then unscrew the first syringe and attach a second one, all the while keeping the needle in place, and remove more fluid. Then he would fill a third syringe. Finally, he would remove the needle. During the procedure, I would be most uncomfortable - I would have moderate to severe cramping as the needle penetrated the sac and for the duration of the procedure. It was not without risk either: there was a 1 in 400 chance the procedure would cause a miscarriage. Dr. K was very confident, though, stating that in his practice the odds were even better than that and that he didn't foresee any problems. As long as I took it easy for the next few days, I should have no problems. This was on a Wednesday - the results may be in as early as Friday, but no later than Monday.

Back in the procedure room, I felt confident in Dr. K's confidence that everything would go smoothly. That's where my confidence ended and I was more scared than I've ever been in my life. I won't lie to you - when I saw the length of the needle (it was at least 8 inches long, if not 10), I panicked. I started to shake, and I squeezed ArtyBee's hand so tight I'm sure I hurt him, but he never once complained. As the needle penetrated my skin and the cramping started, my eyes filled with tears and they silently slid down my cheeks. The only thing that kept me from screaming and telling him to stop was the sight of my baby on the screen in front of me. No longer squished by my bladder, it was like she knew she needed to stay to one side of my uterus as the needle penetrated the sac on the other side. I was determined to stay still so she wouldn't be startled and move closer to the needle. I counted to 15 as the first syringe filled with fluid, then I counted to 30 as Dr. K unscrewed the first syringe and attached the second. The counting helped keep me calm and by the time it was all over the tears had stopped.

Dr. K showed us one of the vials of amniotic fluid and held it against my arm so I could feel the warmth. "Here's your baby's pee... and other stuff too." He went on to say that everything went according to plan, that I still had more than enough fluid to keep the baby safe, and that he expected no complications. But due to the fact that I've been as sick as I have been, I shouldn't go to work for the rest of the week. "No problem," I said, "I'm pretty sure they're getting used to me not being there."

There was one last thing Dr. K wanted to do before we left his office. He wanted to draw some blood to test me for Thalassemia, which is a hereditary genetic defect which causes anemia. Since I am anemic (and have been for as long as I can remember) he wanted to make sure it wasn't something that could be passed along to the fetus. So I had the priviledge of having another needle inserted into me - but this one was almost pleasant compared to the last one.

And so we went home - to wait, to research, to worry, to rest, and to cry.